Being an infamous animal lover, I was very distressed to find out that penguins are whores.

It has been discovered (not very recently, I admit) that when stones (valuable currency for penguins) are in short supply for nest-building, some females turn to sex to obtain it. The saddest part is that their male partners often have no idea what they are doing behind their backs, because it is common for females to go off looking for stones on their own. The general pattern is that a female targets a single male (to avoid a fight with his partner), and then performs the courtship ritual, which leads to copulation. The female then steals a stone or two from the nest he is building for a potential partner and runs off. The strange thing is that they don’t seem to be doing it just for stones, either. It takes hundreds of stones to build a nest, but the penguin can’t run off with more than a couple at a time. Behaviorists don’t really know what the other reasons for copulation may be. They suggest that the females may be testing future mates in case theirs dies prematurely. The single males, on the other hand, seemed to have pleasure as their only motive (surprise, surprise).

So, what does that mean for us?

I don’t know.

The point of this new blog is to share interesting facts about sex. Honestly, I was gearing it more in the direction of humans. I was hoping to share interesting statistics from around the world in a more interesting way than “The US has the highest rate of teen pregnancies in the developed world. That sucks. Buy a condom, dammit.” But I can’t help feeling the need to share my disappointment with our fine penguin-y friends.

Somewhere, sometime, I read that it is a common thing for female animals to exchange favors in return for sex. What this means for us, perhaps, is that it is time for those who feel that prostitution is immoral and should be heavily punishable to reconsider. True, anyone would agree that it is devastating when a committed spouse has been cheating with a prostitute (or anyone, for that matter). I am not espousing that. I am merely suggesting that prostitution may not be such a terrible thing in all situations, most probably if you are not committed. It may just be a something natural that frequently has terrible consequences because we tie the usual mess of human emotions with sex, coupled with the fact that people often make very irrational decisions. What if you just find it thrilling to have sex with someone you don’t know, don’t want to know, and will never get to know?

I’d like to see Mrs. Penguin explain THAT to her husband when he catches her.